Being a Bookman
by snowqueen85
Summary: What does it mean to be a Bookman? How does it feel to be a Bookman? Lavi understands the Bookman rules but how could he stop himself from breaking one of them? He has yet to feel the real meaning of being a Bookman. Complete. LavixOC (Not really much of the OC)


Disclaimer: I do not own Man. I just own the OC.

I know many do not like OC but this does not revolve around the OC. It's more about…being a Bookman.

Have fun reading and I hope you enjoy it. Do review if you have the time! :D

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**Being a Bookman  
**

A loud obnoxious laugh was heard all through the town. People clad in black and silver looked up at a grey floating being in the sky. "There's about 70 level 1 demons and only one ugly level 2," a dark haired woman counted, as she activated her weapon. "Aria and I will take care of the Level 1 demons," the red haired Bookman suggested as he extended his hammer. The other three exorcists nodded as they headed towards the bigger demon.

40 minutes into the battle, there were still a huge number of demons.

"They keep on coming," Aria shouted to Lavi through the blasting of the demons' canons. Meanwhile, Allen, Lenalee and Krory were doing their best trying to land an attack on the higher demon.

It kept throwing black laser balls as big as a horse carriage. "ARIA! WATCH OUT!" Allen screamed out to his friend on the ground.

"ARI!" Lavi yelled out. He quickly decreased the size of his hammer while pulling Aria towards him, avoiding the attack in mere seconds.

The red haired exorcist, clutched Aria's waist close to him, "That was a close call. I nearly lost you there."

Aria chuckled, giving him a swift peck on his cheek before leaving his grasp, "You worry too much, dear" She smiled at him as she slashed two demons with her Naginata - a Japanese blade on a pole. Lavi grinned at his girlfriend before continuing to kill all other demons.

All the while they were fighting, none realised they were being watched by an old man. He frowned as he realised that his apprentice Bookman was already too emotionally attached with a particular exorcist.

-a-

Four weeks on missions to collect Innocence was taking a toll on the fellow exorcists. By the time they reached their rooms in the Black Order, they were all fast asleep.

However, Lavi could not sleep a blink as the senior Bookman kept him up.

"ne, Panda-jii, can we do this tomorrow? I can barely keep my eyes open," Lavi grumbled as he turned on his side, placing a pillow over his head.

"how long have you been with her?" Bookman asked without any discretion.

The question made Lavi wide awake, but he did not move from his position. He tightened his grip on the pillow case, "Ha? What do you mean?"

Lavi tried to lie but all he received was silence from the old man. He just stared at his apprentice knowingly.

Lavi just sighed and sat up, "It's been almost a year. We've been good friends for ages, and I just couldn't take it anymore."

Bookman slammed his palm against the side table, disappointment rushing through him, "you are a Bookman, Lavi. We do not interfere with the events of this world, nor do we actually help with the war. We are Bookmen first, before exorcist. Have you forgotten the Bookmen rules?"

The young man hugged his pillow closer as he mumbled, "detach myself from any emotional connection with people. We do not interfere, we just record the events."

"The relationship you have with everyone will just hurt as they will disappear one day," Bookman said in seriousness.

Lavi felt frustration slowly washing over him, "But I…She…" He fell quiet as he tried to think of a way to finish his sentence but after much deliberation, he finally said, "Understood."

The Bookman stood up, "Get some sleep. We're leaving at dawn for observation." With that, he left Lavi alone in the room.

Lavi growled out in frustration, throwing the pillow against the wall. He breathed in deeply, his hand touching his cheek. He stared at the droplet of tear on his finger. It was his first tear in a while.

-a-

Aria observed her love interest as they walked down the path to a town. There was something wrong with him and she felt uneasy. It has been a year since they made everything official but they had kept their relationship a secret from the Bookman - at Lavi's request. Aria smiled sadly, knowing exactly what Lavi's mind was occupied with.

She slid her hand into his, getting his attention. Aria gave a brighter smile to him, "It's been 2 months since we had a mission together."

Lavi narrowed his eyes at Krory, who was innocently talking to Allen at the front of the group, "Krory always ends up with you for missions nowadays. Oh, the lucky bastard."

The raven haired woman laughed, "Because you keep running off with Bookman, recording God knows what."

The words seemed like a touchy subject for Lavi that moment as he halted abruptly in his step.

"What's wrong, Lavi?" Allen asked in concern, but no reply was given. Aria frowned, and turned to the other two, "You guys go ahead. We'll catch up in a minute."

Once the others left, Aria called out the junior Bookman's name.

"LAVI!"

Only after screaming out his name, did Lavi snapped out of his reverie and was now staring straight into his girlfriend's grey orbs. Concern was written all over Aria's face.

"I'm worried," she murmured, "You've been like this ever since we started this mission."

Lavi gave her a gentle smile, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about."

Aria was not fully convinced. She backed away slightly, eyes asking for answers, "I will slice you up with my Innocence if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Lavi chuckled at the woman's attempt at threatening him. He took her hand, pulling her towards him. He held her face in his hand as he pressed his lips against hers.

"I'm fine. Just don't worry about it right now," he muttered as he came up.

The female exorcist sighed, "yes, because we have more pressing matters to attend to." They continued walking, hand in hand as Aria continued, "if we ever actually 'capture' General Cross, I will slice HIM up with my naginata. Searching for him is like searching a needle in a haystack."

Lavi just laughed and enjoyed Aria's incoherent complaining and ways of making the general pay. 'Allen really brainwashed her,' he thought.

"ne, Aria, let's go out once this mission is over. It's been ages since our last date," Lavi said, stopping her in mid-sentence.

Aria kept silent before agreeing with a smile.

-a-

Taking a deep breath, Aria turned the knob her bedroom door and exited with a fake happy smile, "Sorry for making you wait, anata." Lavi gave the same smile as he greeted her with a kiss on her temple, "I'll wait millennia for you."

Aria felt slightly anxious the whole day. She was happy that they were out, just the two of them yet she felt agitated being around him that moment.

For starters, Lavi had not let go of her hand ever since they left the Order. When he thinks she's not looking, Aria could just feel his emerald green orbs staring gently at her, as if trying to commit her face and actions into memory. Aria closed her eyes, trying to stay calm and as she faced him, she kept the fake smile plastered on her face.

Evening came, and they were standing in the Eiffel tower, staring at the sunset, Aria in Lavi's embrace.

"Lavi…" Aria whispered. She could not hold the act anymore. It was painful - emotionally and physically, "What's wrong?"

Lavi pulled Aria closer to him, "What do you mean? Everything's just…perfect right now."

He loved all of Aria, both her strengths and weaknesses. One of her traits was able to understand him like an open book. It was times like this he wished she could not read him.

Aria finally gave a genuine smile but it was small, and it was sad. She could feel his grip tightening around her waist, his head buried at her shoulder, "Lavi…just tell me what you need to tell me. I'll...be fine."

"You'll be fine…but I won't. I need you in my life. I want you in my life. You're my oxygen. I don't need food. I just need you," Lavi murmured.

The young woman forced a chuckle, "Don't be stupid. You still need to eat." She paused momentarily before continuing, "I knew ages ago that we can't continue this relationship. As much as we've been good friends for years and then eventually entering into this relationship… you're still a bookman. Jii-san doesn't allow you, does he?"

Lavi looked at Aria, who kept her eyes at the sunset, "How did you know?"

Aria laughed, "Who do you take me for? I've known you for ages, love. I may not be a bookman but I do love reading, so I know a few things or two."

"You know, you should be a bookman too. You read more than I do. I usually just observe," Lavi tried to joke. His girlfriend chuckled but said nothing. Lavi pulled her closer, giving her a kiss, "If you were a bookman, we wouldn't need to stop this." Aria closed her eyes, trying her best not to cry as his lips touched hers.

That night was the last night that they were together; it was the last night they showed their love. Aria woke up the next day to an empty space beside her. She just sighed as she woke up for breakfast, acting as if nothing had happened.

-a-

It's been two months since Allen last saw Aria and Lavi together. He has been observing them ever since Lenalee pointed out that they have not been hanging out, just the two of them. Allen also noted that Lavi had stopped any public affection towards Aria, even light teasing was hardly seen anymore. Even Aria had tried her best not to mention Lavi's name unless necessary.

The grey haired exorcist confirmed his suspicions as he finally had a mission with the pair. Both Lavi and Aria treated each other just as friends, and at times, even as acquaintances. Once in a while, Lavi would joke around with her but Allen could see that he had quickly regretted his actions.

Aria, on the other hand, would still talk with her sarcastic remarks but after a sentence or two, she would keep quiet, and would start talking to all the other members except Lavi.

They could have shared a room but Lavi had insisted he shared it with the rest of the guys. Allen looked at him curiously, "Are you guys sure? I thought you didn't like Aria staying alone?"

Lavi glanced over at Aria. Their eyes met for a split second but they instantly looked away. The Bookman was fidgeting with the key in his hand, giving it a serious thought. However, the senior Bookman's words played in his mind, and he shrugged, "She'll be next door right? She… She'll be fine. Aria's an exorcist too, you know."

Allen could hear the stuttering in his voice. He realised Lavi was trying to convinced himself. Lavi stretched out his hand, "Aria, your room key." Aria turned around, and with a smiled, she said, "Thanks."

She raised an eyebrow as she tried to take the key, "Lavi." The long haired woman gave it another tug, but Lavi was not letting go. His eyes were staring down at the key, refusing to hand it over.

Aria sighed and muttered under her breath, "Lavi…please don't make this hard." With a final tug, Lavi finally released. Before anything else happened, Aria turned to Allen and Krory, "I'll see you guys for dinner. I'm going to get some rest first."

When she disappeared upstairs, Allen swiftly spun on his heels. "Lavi!" he exclaimed.

The said guy looked up, only to see his friend's questioning look, "yes?"

"What the hell is wrong with the both of you? What happened that you're not even sharing a room? Bookman's not here," Allen questioned. Krory stood behind the boy, looking confused at the situation.

Lavi quickly put on his own confused mask, as he picked up his bag and headed towards the stairs, "Ha? What are you talking about? There's nothing wrong."

"It's been weeks since any of us has seen the two of you together," Allen explained.

Krory finally grasping the situation nodded in agreement, "I haven't seen you pining over her or even complaining that she's not around when you're not on the same mission. That's not normal for you."

Allen walked closer to the older guy, "If the two of you cannot work together, I'm scared it will jeopardise a mission one day. You guys don't even look at each other when you talk."

Lavi stopped halfway up the stairs, and took a seat on it instead. He rested his elbows on his thighs, as he cradled his head, "There's nothing between us anymore. We're just plain old friends."

"What? Why? You guys were like the perfect battle pair," Krory pointed out, still trying to process the information.

The junior bookman chuckled, "Duties and other things. We're still good friends though."

"Do you still love her?" Allen asked him, bluntly.

Lavi just smiled before standing up, "Dibs on the bed near the balcony."

Allen and Krory just sighed at his reply. Krory looked over at Allen, "I still don't understand why we have to keep their relationship a secret from the Bookman in the first place"

The younger man shrugged, "there must be a reason. A Bookmen reason, most probably."

-a-

Allen and Lenalee watched in horror as Aria was screaming, "get it out! GET IT OUT OF ME!"

They ran towards their friend, slicing and slashing through demons as they did. Aria had come out from the alley way, bloodied and beaten, causing panic to the other two.

Lenalee did not even wait another second to come to her aid, "Aria! What happened?!"

Aria shook her head and pushed her friend away. She took her Innocence and without any hesitation, pierced the sharp weapon into her abdomen. Lenalee screamed at her friend's action and could hear Allen calling out the older woman's name.

Aria replaced her weapon with her hand, and dug her fingers into the open wound. She bit down the pole of her weapon as she pulled something out of her.

"Noah," she murmured before falling onto the ground. Allen hurriedly took off his coat and applying pressure to the deep wound.

"Aria, don't fall asleep. Stay with us!" Allen panicked as the woman fell in and out of consciousness.

Lenalee looked at the thing in Aria's hand, only to find a black and pink butterfly but before she could examine it, it flew away.

"Lenalee! We have to get her to the hospital!"

Bringing her attention back to their bleeding friend, Lenalee grabbed hold of Aria's hand, "I'll bring her. The hospital is in the next town. My Innocence should be able to bring her faster." She slipped her arms under Aria's body, and making sure one hand was still pressed on the wound, "I'll see you there."

-a-

"_How is she doing?" _Komui, chief of the European Branch, asked in concern.

Allen did not reply.

"_Allen?"_ Komui called out, _"Is she…"_ He did not dare to finish his sentence.

"No…" Allen finally spoke up, but tiredness and fear was all over him, "To be honest, I'm not really sure. The doctor told us she lost a lot of blood and there was even a hole on the right side of her lung - the same place she pulled out the butterfly. It was slowly eating her, Komui."

"_Where's my sister?"_

"Outside Aria's room. We're not allowed to go in yet. She's under observation," Allen was slowly losing his calm. He was scared of losing another friend.

"_I sent Bookman there. Let's pray he makes it on time,"_ Komui said before they ended the conversation.

Allen let himself slid down the counter, tears falling heavily as the thought of losing one of his dearest friend came into his mind.

-a-

Lavi stood outside with Allen and Lenalee as Bookman entered the room himself.

"What happened to Krory this time that the Panda-jii rushed out of town? I didn't even get to finish my dinner," Lavi asked casually, not knowing the full details.

The younger exorcists looked at each other, realising that Lavi had no knowledge on Bookman's current patient. Allen had a slight frown as he remembered Aria's last words and repeated it to Lavi.

This caused the other man to be serious, "Which Noah?"

"The same one that killed the other six exorcists. Some weird butterfly was eating her lung," Allen explained.

"Thank god Krory could esca-...wait…her?" Lavi's heart suddenly leaped in fear, "Allen, Lenalee…please tell me that it's a different female exorcist in there"

His voice was slowly shaking, "…please tell me it's not her…please let it not be her." He begged as he waited for his friends' answers but their silence and solemn look told him otherwise.

Lavi made a run for the door, and as soon as he opened the door, he saw Aria's bloody uniform hanging on the wall, and her body lying on the bed.

Bookman spun on his heels, "Get out Lavi!"

The older man's firm voice did not stop Lavi from taking another step into the room. "Lenalee! Allen! Get him out!" The two exorcists hastily grabbed hold of Lavi, pulling him out of the room.

Lavi pushed his friends away, slamming his back against a wall in the process. He slid down, a hand over his mouth to stop him from screaming but tears were slowly escaping. Lenalee kneeled down beside him, holding his free hand in comfort.

"Lavi…she'll be fine. She's a strong woman. She escaped a Noah and took out the thing that could kill her in an instant," Allen tried his best to keep calm in the situation but he knew nothing could help. No words could go through Lavi that moment. His mind was in a state of panic and concern at Aria's condition.

All he wanted to hear now was her voice.

-a-

Allen and Lenalee stood by the door as Lavi sat on the bed, holding Aria's hand in his. Bookman had come out an hour ago, with news that none wanted to hear.

Lavi pressed his lips on her cold forehead, tears flowing down, "Please wake up, Aria. Baby, please open your eyes."

He kept chanting the same thing over and over again, as he kissed her cheeks, her nose…her cold lips. "There's a ship leaving for the Black Order in 2 hours," Bookman came in. He cared for Lavi, and seeing the boy he raised in despair made his heart wrenched but to keep up appearances, the old man kept a straight face.

Allen went over to Lavi to tell him the news but before he could utter a word, Lavi said, through his tears, "I still love her, Allen. I will forever love her." Tears kept on falling, as he pressed her hand to his cheek, "Right now…I just hate what I am. I hate that we are living in this kind of world. I hate her for leaving me here alone but I just cannot stop loving her."

"You're not alone, Lavi. She left all of us. She left our family," Lenalee said, slowly accepting that they actually lost another Black Order member.

However, any comforting words they say were not heard by Lavi. He let himself drowned in grief.

Even after a month of Aria's death, Lavi kept to himself. He locked himself in a world that everyone was having trouble breaking in. He buried himself in books, and in dangerous missions. His friends were worried.

He was unreachable.

-a-

The older Bookman has had enough. He could not watch his apprentice wallow in grief anymore.

SMACK!

People who passed by stopped as they heard the loud slapping coming from the room.

"Do you understand now why we Bookmen do not get emotionally attached? Do you see how it affects you?" Bookman lectured strictly.

Lavi kept quiet. Bookman continued, "You have not been doing your duty as a Bookman! You are supposed to observe and record. You record the events of her death in your head, in your books. You're not supposed to mourn for her death, or any of their death…not for THIS long at least!"

"Can't I even be a real human for once?" Lavi finally said, " I've learned my lesson. I won't get emotionally attached. There's no one else for me to get emotional with."

Bookman stared at his disciple, "I know you grief for her. Everyone does. However, you are a Bookman. We are-."

"I know, I know. I've heard it a million times," Lavi said, pushing his temper down, he headed towards the door, but stopped, "We are the Bookmen. We do not interfere with the events of this world. We have to detach ourselves from humanity. We just observe and record. We are lonely beings."

He opened the door and looked at his senior with pained eyes, " We…do not love. That's what being a Bookman is."

-a-a-a-

THE END

Author's note: I hope this was an ok story. Hoped you liked it and I hope it did not waste your time. :D Have a nice day


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